Feeling Guilty

Yesterday was the monthly ALS support group and after a speaker and discussion the talk turned to the walk.  The staff person that organizes is so enthusiastic. People that have participated before talked about seeing 4000 people lining the riverfront.  It is exciting and I know I would be unhappy if I did  not go. So far all I have done is write one letter to previous donors that the staff person put in the details and sent out for me by email.  Doing anything else just seems hard.. I keep thinking that after we know the plan for Dave I will do something about the walk. Unfortunately we are going a different direction with each new development and are always looking for the one more test to get more information .                Wow, just  looked over what I had written and it sure sounded like whining.  Our kids will tell you that I do not like people that whine.  Now the question is do I post or not.. Sometimes just writing is enough to get everything out of my system but if you are reading this you know I needed more.           Oh, were you looking for information about Dave? Well, the blood test today was about the same as yesterday with the kidney function just in the normal range.  Yeah, no ice cold saline dripping in his veins.  Any wonder that he is always cold. Tomorrow he was able to get in to see the kidney doctor in the morning.  She is pretty straight forward so we are figure she will come out and say if she thinks the gensar (sp?) was the cause of the kidney problem.  Then later the oncologist and try to get a recommendation out of him.  So once again we are at another fork in the road.  Sure wish someone would pick up the damn forks.