Christmas

Christmas Eve started in the afternoon. Kari and Garrett arrived about noon and the fun started. Todd had made gingerbread and(had enough pieces to give away unassembled houses) assembled houses for everyone so we gathered around the table and decorated them. There was a lot of Who has the red, and pass the m & m s. It was fun to listen to the chatter and watch everyone work.  I could not pass up the opportunity to make a comman Dave remark.  Stick your tongue out of the other side of your mouth and it will work better.   Walker told us fell down once when Poppop said that.  To our what?!?  He explained that he had been concentrating so hard on his tongue that he didn't look where he was going.  I am so pleased that they are comfortable talking about him.  Each house was different and fun.                  Caregiver Melissa and I then came home to put the ham in the oven .  As a surprise Cindy had ordered a Santa face bread.  Everybody did a little bit and it was a relaxed and pleasant evening.  After dinner there were a few packages to open.  Years ago I had started giving everyone pajamas Christmas eve.  The big kids had asked me to stop because they did not outgrow them.  However this year was different.  Everyone got flannel pajama pants and one of Dave's tee-shirts.  There were a few tears with the smiles.

Christmas is almost here!

Wow,  Friday was busy.  It was orientation day for another new caregiver.  This time it was at my request.  Lynn had worked for another vented ALS patient for almost 2 years.  He had a very fast progression and had justification to be difficult.  I had asked for her because the training would be more an orientation. Plus I didn't want to get stuck with low coverage again.  She will work one day a week but that would keep her up to date on my needs so she could cover for another if needed.  As an added bonus it turns out she lives close enough to walk and her dogs name is Quincy!                  Being Christmas we had a bit of running around to do.  First stop was to show Kathy the completed  apron.   Then it was off to pick up some wetsuits for the older boys.  I had been emailing with the shop so they were ready for us.  Talk about service, they brought things out to the van.  Dave would have loved to wander around the place.  They carry wind surfer equipment, stand up paddle boards, snow boards, kayaks and surf boards along with everything you might want to go with the boards.  Living in Oregon you can do a little of everything . Then we made another stop to pick up an ordered item and on for a needed supply.  Yes, I am being vague for a  reason .             When we got back it was not raining so we took Quincy and me for a walk.  Sure felt good to be out.  Since there were 2 pairs of hands they were able to wrap some presents after our walk.  Sure did a lot to get me in the Christmas spirit.

Much Better

It took 3 days for me to finish the previous post because so much was going on.  First,  Todd was not happy with the haircut he gave Walker so he took him to a shop.  Todd sent an email picture but he looked even better in person.  When they came over for make your own pizza night, you could tell he was pleased.  In a few years the girls are going to really go after him.  I do hope it is a few years away.  Of course this grandma is not biased.            Thursday was a big day for another reason.  Caregiver Cindy has always said she would not sew as I had started most of the caregivers.  Well she finally asked me if I would help her make an apron for a good friend.  She didn't want just a basic apron, but a 50s look with ruffles.  When we went to buy fabric we spotted one of the clerks wearing just the perfect look.  It was not the easiest pattern because of the curves but I thought she could do it.  She picked companion fabrics so all was good there.  When she began cutting out I realized how little she knew and how nervous she was.   Friend Kathy once again came to the rescue.  She filled a bobbin, threaded the machine and corrected a small cutting error.  Even better she told Cindy that the iron was her friend.  We started sewing the ties.  After she pressed them she realized the iron was good.  It took most of the day to make it but she did it. Our Cindy took pictures of cg Cindy's apron to send to Kathy. When cg Cindy made the yeast dough for the pizzas she added Italian seasoning and Parmesan cheese that was delicious.  It was a great day for someone with low self-image.

Not all bad

Even though I was grouchy Tuesday it was not that bad.  Todd and the boys came over in the late afternoon. Surprise! Walker cut his hair again.  Actually Todd cut it.  Before school started he had cut about 6 inches off so it was just below his shoulders.  Now it is about chin length.  Looks great. He has wonderful thick hair.                    When he was here I sweet talked him into cleaning my back up mouse.  Since I use the mouse with my foot and it sits on the foot rest it gets dirty.  When the dirt builds up on the connectors it will not move the cruiser.  That rarely happens at a convenient time so Dave bought me a back-up.   That way they can be set aside and cleaned at a convenient time.  The first time he showed Walker how to do and the first time Walker did it by himself were exciting.  Now it is just one more job.  I must admit it makes me so proud to see him get the necessary tools and be so careful when he works on it.  Guess I did not need to wear my witch socks after all.

BEWARE

Back in September when Davis was in Fred Myers he saw a display of  Halloween knee socks.  As Kari shared at his memorial service, Davis believed if one was good two was better.  Therefore he bought 4 pair.  Two are definitely Halloween but one is okay with my orange shirt anytime of year.  The 4th pair are special.  They look like regular black socks until you get to the top. A lovely witch graces the top.  These are good for any day I am feeling witchey.  If I am wearing my witch socks beware, for I am in a witchey mood.  Yesterday was a witch sock day.

One of the fun things about living in Oregon is the weather.  Yesterday was sunny so we decided to run errands while it was nice.  By the time I was ready it started to rain HARD.  Then it was lighter but thick like it was thinking about snow.  That soon passed and the sun and blue sky were back.  This morning was the same but this time it was actually snowing.  After watching for a time I decided it might actually stick and emailed some friends. That was it, the snow stopped and we even had sun for a while.  I don't think this southern California girl will ever girl tired of the weather changes.

Disturbing times

Watching yesterdays news was a difficult thing for everyone.  Just last week the boys were talking about having a lock down drill.  Walkers class was outside at PE and could not go back in.  The younger two were not as clear on the different bells.  When Todd asked if they knew what lock down meant they did know.  It was when someone that did not belong was in the school.  I was thinking how sad that they needed to knew that.  It feels so much more personal than the duck and cover drills we did.  At least the lock down drills are more practical then hiding under our desk with hands over our neck.  How that would protect us from a bomb is beyond me.  When that was changed to an earthquake drill it made sense.  Wish we didn't have to have any drills.  Fire and earthquake drills are easier to handle than lock down drills.

Correction

How can a grandma make such a mistake?  Miles turned 7 on the 12th not 8.  If I say it quietly does that make it less of a mistake?

After a couple of weeks in a funk I think I have begun to understand why.  I had a great Thanksgiving with long time (not old)friends followed by a wonderful birthday where I had Kari and Garrett all to myself.  On top of that so many of you fantastic people sent cards and emails.  I thank each of you, it made me feel very special.  Then TCWSM did a fun dinner with chocolate milk shakes instead of chocolate cake.  I can be fed small portions and really enjoyed the chocolate.            So with all the wonderful days why was I such a grouch?  A visit from a social worker from the ALS association helped me put everything together.  Just one year ago my gall bladder started the process leading to the tracheotomy and the change in life style. I sometimes wonder if we hadn't been so focused on me would we have caught Dave's cancer earlier.  Knowing that is a unproductive frame of mind I try to move on. There are more productive thoughts. One of the pleasant thoughts is the peace that he felt the morning. after the dream that led to his sermon.  I have to admit I am a little jealous about how peaceful he was.. Usually I write a Christmas letter touching on the highlights of the year.  This year they would be low-lights.  Don't have any idea what I will do this year.             Fortunately I have many interesting things going on that stop the watching TV and playing solitaire on my computer.  Spending time with others where I feel a connection in the ALS support group and a sewing group at church really is helpful.  Who can stay down when a grand-son has a birthday?  There are 2 for us.  Walker turned 11 December 4th and Miles was 8 on December 12.   Sam has to wait until June.  Tonight the boys all decorated the tree that Kari helped get last Saturday.

thoughts

The last week I have had thoughts to share but when I started to write it was a battle.  Consequently I have several partly written posts, eight emails in drafts and unwritten thank you notes.  If you were wondering perhaps this week will go better.  I need to write so I can turn my brain off when I wake up during the night.