There was a lot of thought about this past weekend. Traditionally Todd's family spent the weekend with Cindy's family at her Aunts house in Eugene. They spend Christmas with us.  Last year they decided to spend Thanksgiving day with us and join Cindy's family for the rest of the weekend.  Now I had to figure out what I would like to do this year.  Todd was concerned because my birthday was Friday and he felt they should be here.  However if  they were here it would be just like last year with a huge hole without Dave. Kari and Garrett planned to be here along with his mom.  Marlene was not able to make her annual trek either.  Everything shaped up when I learned that two families that are long time friends, that now live in Springfield (next to Eugene), did not have kids coming from California.  They were happy to come here.  So everyone had to drive but the Thursday morning traffic was light.  No one had to do a lot, since we each had a part.  Caregiver Cindy was excited about doing some cooking.  She did not tell me until after the turkey was in the oven that it was her first turkey.  With several cooks in the kitchen at times it was fun to be part of the action.  TCWSM were able to spend the entire weekend in Eugene with all the cousins.

Enough

As if my Caregivers did not have enough to do, they now have to put ear drops in Quincy's ears.  Fortunately they all like dogs.  It is usually frustrating when something is wrong with an animal.  This time we knew.  He likes to have his ears rubbed, but this time he yelped.  Caregiver Sherry looked in his ear and it was gunky.  (gunky is a scientific word isn't it ) He also didn't want to get up in the morning when I did.  We really got worried when he did not beg when cg. Kelseyann cooked an egg and he didn't beg.  Now he is back to normal.  Even though he is spoiled by some of the caregivers I am a little bit happy to here him beg.

Interesting

I am in a better mood today than when I last wrote.  With the gray rainy day that is almost surprising.  Just writing about it helped.  Several of you sent supportive emails that I appreciated and friends gathered for an evening visit.  In addition several friends that missed Dave's service gathered to watch the video.  Because Dave's father was not able to come up for the service a video was made.  Interesting that I found the video comforting.  The kids and I had written our messages separately and all 3 of us focused on his laugh and humor.  Pretty good legacy.  Then minister. David, started with playing a section of Dave's sermon.  I could almost hear Dave chuckle about speaking at his own service.  Listening again to the many sections of Dave's sermon that David used reminded me of the morning when Dave told me about the  dream that led to his sermon.  He was so peaceful and calm, I could feel the difference.  I think I need regular reminders about the peace and the wonderful acronym. S.H.I.T. Surely He is there.

Best Layed Plans.......

After moving here one of the things I wanted was to get a dog.  Dave wanted a dog with hair rather than fur because we knew how much a dog could shed and hardwood floors show every bit of it.  Why did I want a dog?  When I was gone a dog could make sure he got out of the house almost every day.  Like so many plans we did not ever consider that he would die first.  Now it is me that Quincy gets out.  Sometimes when there are other people here a caretaker or friend will take him.  Yesterday I was in a funk when caregiver Cindy said it is not raining and it is not that cold, lets take Quincy for a walk.  My first reaction was I don't want to.  However she had said the w word and he was ready to go.  How could I look at the big brown eyes and say no?  Quincy was doing exactly what I wanted him to do, only I was the recipient.  So we went.  My pity party was still determined to take over. Most of the brightly colored leaves had fallen and the bare trees fit with my mood. However Cindy was not at the party and continued to see bright red bushes and yellows that looked like the sun.  I had sent a text to Todd that we were going for a walk and he found us to finish the walk.  Between the fresh air and two people talking about how nice it was I couldn't mope any more. I do still wish life had gone as planned.  Dave would have had fun teaching Walker to drive and maybe even given him the car.  He also really enjoyed working with kids in the higher-level math classes. With all three boys he could help with projects and have lots of fun.  I know the boys can learn from me but I can not interact with them as he would have.

Pictures that make me smile

During Dave's final days when family was here we went through pictures.  There were so many great memories that we could share.  Unfortunately the clothes we wore in the 70s were really bad.  It was nice to remember all the events.        Kari took all the pictures and made two wonderful layouts about 3 feet by 5 feet.  (Another advantage of having an architect in the family is having the equipment to make large displays.)  After the memorial service we brought them home.  I had not had an opportunity to look at the pictures so asked that they be pined on the half wall that separates the kitchen from the hall.  They have lived there ever since.  Every time I head down the hall there are several favorites I look at.  Keeping the happy times with me all the time really makes me feel good.  I will share some with you soon.

Good Day

Long time friends Carolyn and Jerry and dog Monty were here Thursday to do projects for me.  It was time to drain the sprinkler system before we had freezing temperatures.  Todd and I had looked briefly and did not find either box. Jerry found the front one and we took a picture to help if it gets covered up again. While he did other projects Carolyn was busy inside.  At one point we left to do a quick errand.  Both dogs sat looking at the door with big brown eyes but were disappointed.  When we came back they stayed at our heels to be sure we did not leave without them again.   They each even followed their person to the bathroom!  Did they really think we had abandoned them?  Once the dogs were happy Carolyn was able to start on a sewing project for me.  I had collected tee-shirts from the recent ALS walk to make 2 tote bags.  Lined with red fabric with red handles they really came out great.  It is so nice to have friends willing to do projects I dream up.  Plus those that have the  willingness to take on several house and yard needs.

Quincy

Quincy has been staying close to me and is very attentive when we are getting ready to go someplace.  He doesn't bark, he just sits and stares at the door. Just a look makes you feel terrible if you don't take him for a walk.  Dave was the recipient of the sad looks and we teased about it.  Now I get the sad eyes.  A few weeks ago caregiver Cindy suggested we take him with us when we went to the ALS association office.  We figured we could call him a service dog if anybody asked.  When we went in the lobby a security person asked what floor we wanted and didn't say anything about Quincy.  Of course he gave and got lots of attention.  That gave Cindy incentive to take him more places.  His next outing was the fabric store.  He was fine for a while because Cindy took along a mat for him to sit on. He didn't like being in the shopping cart when he could not see us.  I think we will need to choose carefully where we take him. Since soccer season is over he is missing his outings .

IT WAS TEMPTING

Now that the election is over I can confess that I was very tempted to vote on Dave's ballot.  Oregon has a vote by mail system so when the ballots arrived I thought about voting on his too. I have been using a signature stamp for a long time and Dave recently had one made.  There were 2 local issues that I knew he would support and probably needed every possible vote.  One was for schools and the other for the library.  Of course the presidential race was also important.  Temptation was high enough that I actually talked about it.  If the ballots had arrived earlier I might have done it. As it turned out his vote was not needed so it was good thing I did not do it.

Crazy time

Todd and Cindy's house is next door to a church with a nice parking lot.  This is where many of the neighbourhood kids learned to ride bikes and still ride.  When I was there this afternoon Walker asked me to go out to the parking lot. I had a pretty good idea what he wanted, but asked why.  He said you will see.  As he pulled a crazy rider (a big circle with a seat in the middle and 2 wheels with handles that can be turned in opposite directions so the rider can spin.) out along with a tie down cable I knew I would be the power. Walker knows there is a bolt underneath my chair that is used to fasten the chair in the van.  He fastened the tie down cable to the bolt and to the crazy rider. By doing curves I could really get them going.  Must admit it was great fun but probably not very safe.

Another Story

Another story Dave told on himself occurred a couple of weeks before he died.  He often wanted  to take Quincy on a walk.   Caregivers and I really didn't like him to go by himself even using his walker.  For a while he was okay with us going if for no other reason than to shut us up.  After a while it became to much.  When he stopped treatment and went on hospise he began to get stronger and started going on walks again.  He even gained back 4 of the 40 pounds he lost.  Once again we had the argument about going alone but this time he won.  Being able to do something by himself was a real pleasure.  So  when he said he was going to take Quincy for a walk I said okay and nothing else and stayed out on the deck.  (If he was telling the story he would say something about how hard it was for me to keep my mouth shut.)  After a while he came back and said you will never guess what I did.  Proudly he said he forgot his walker and didn't even realize it until almost back.  I did not know if I should be mad or glad.  Choose to be glad with a little caution.