Makes me think

Lately I have been wondering why I am still here and Dave is gone.  I try not to go to the *what if place,* but sometimes it is hard.               Two of my caregivers are going to school and are struggling with math.  Not only could he have helped them, he would have enjoyed it.  Kari relates a story about Dave helping her with math and saying isn't this fun.  Helping former neighbour Nick was the same, he was excited about the approach being used. I know my caregivers don't think it is fun. Dave might have helped them understand it.               Dave also enjoyed kids as they changed into people with own ideas and logic.  Walker is beginning to be at the stage where his parents embarrass him.  That is an age that Pop-Pop would have enjoyed and laughed about.  Grandparents can do the same thing parents do and it is okay.           With all my questions why and how can this be right the sermon today was timely.  Things that look terrible can be okay in the big picture. When things work out might not be when we want or expect. The story about a Chinese man was especially good.  It related a series of events where what looked like good luck became bad and bad luck turned to good. 

More Adventures

Many of you have heard me quote a saying from a sailing magazine.  The Difference Between Ordeal and Adventure is Attitude.   Well sometimes it takes a bit of hindsight to become an adventure.              My latest adventure was on Monday February 11th.  One part of the adventure was planned, a trache change, a necessary and regular occurrence.  The part inside my throat needs to be replaced because it gets gunky.  Yes, that must be a medical term because the doctor used it.  I am getting ahead of myself.          Because of the appointment I needed to get up earlier than usual so my night caregiver got me up.  As Kellsyann got me up  my legs decided they did not want to support me.  She had one hand on me, but had not moved her other hand.  As I slowly crumbled she tried to stop me while saying no, no, no.  Would have been a great Americas Funniest home video.  Things got even better.  Lifting from behind she got me up with no problem but then a complication. Kellsyann isn't tall enough to move me from her lap to the bed.  Must have looked like someone trying to make a puppet move.  I could not help because my feet could not get traction without my weight on them.  After 4 tries she wanted to call Todd to help.  Now that is not as easy as it sounds. There are phones in every room of the house, but she still could not reach it without leaving me leaning on the bed.  Those of you that had or were kids 40 - 50 years ago might remember weebles.  They were toy people figures that had round weighted bottoms.  Of course you had to buy the special plane, bus or car for them.  The ads on television had a cute jingle that said weebles wobble but don't fall down. I have the same round bottom but don't sit back up. Now I have that jingle in my head along with a picture.  The rest of the story is a non-event. They got me up, fed and dressed as usual. I was on time to my appointment.  Nurse Molly had already ordered the trache so did not have to wait.        What changed this from an ordeal to an adventure?  The pictures in my head of someone struggling to move a life size puppet and that crazy weeble commercial.

Dave must be laughing

When we first moved here I was very glad for the media room downstairs where Dave could have his bigTV and awesome sound system.  I did not want the living room dominated by a TV.  Well, fast forward to last summer.  Even with the stair lift some days Dave did not want to go downstairs.  There were many evenings when all he wanted to do was lay down in bed.  Solution?  Move the monster upstairs and put it on our dresser.   This gave him the opportunity to be comfortable and still choose the programs he wanted.  When I got my trache he had converted our bed to an adjustable one.  With this he could adjust his head or feet wherever they were most comfortable.                  Okay you ask,  where am I going with all this?  Moving the TV was not a high priority item so it stayed and made for fun movie nights with TCWSM.  I decided I wanted it to stay until after the Rose Prade.  I then watched some football before moving to my chair and the living-room.  Besides being bigger the picture quality was different. After talking with my architect I decided to move the monster to the living-room.  Todd knew another parent at the boys school that is a contractor.  He was willing to move the shelves with Todd as his assistant.  The shelves had been built in place so getting them off the wall took some wall with it.  After patching the wall needed painting.  So last weekend Todd, Kari and Garrett had a patch all the scrapes and holes made by my chair in the wall and touch up paint weekend.  (Cindy had drive to birthday parties duty.)  Actually Garrett did not have paint duty, he was in charge of set up and convincing my computer to talk to the TV.            So now the monster is settled in and Dave is laughing.  He would also be very proud of our wonderful kids.

Quilt show

Wednesday was the time for everyone in the workshop to share their completed quilts.  Caregiver Melissa was in charge of pictures.  Being mostly teachers everyone was very good about taking turns and coming to the front for pictures. :-)  The sense of completion looking at all the finished quilts was just what I needed.  So often in classes there is no opportunity to see the finished product.  The top might be finished but not the entire quilt.   This whole experience was very special to me and I hope for everybody.

Beautiful Day

Wow.  what a beautiful day!  I have several posts half started but can not stay inside to write.  The sky is bright blue and the sun is warm.   It  is warm as long as you are directly in it, but I can't be picky/  Yesterday when walking Quincy we saw several yards with purple croces.  I know it is only February so that is the best reason to enjoy the moment.

My Mother in the Mirror

Growing up I had often thought it was not fair that my mother had curly hair and my sister and I had very straight hair.  A few years ago I noticed that I had some hint of curl.  About a year ago I was surprised to look at the floor after getting a hair cut and see the hair laying there shaped like a C.  Ever since then I have noticed more curl.  Now whenever I see myself in the mirror I see my mother looking back. The way it comes across my forehead and goes back around my ears is just like mom.  Why my hair has changed now is beyond me.  The only unusual medication I am taking is the one drug that is supposed to slow ALS.  I have not heard anybody mention curly hair as a side effect.  I certainly don't have any complaint. It doesn't need much fuss to look decent and that is all that matters.

Support Group

Tuesday was the ALS monthly support group and as always there were several recently diagnosed people.  Five this month.  We have mixed feelings about this.  While we are very happy they have found the group it is sad that the numbers keep growing.  Social worker Lance always says it is bad club to belong to but it has the best people.                    One new person came over and introduced himself by saying he lived very close.  I often walk and roll over to the kids house so all the neighbours on the route recognize me.  This man lives on a corner and feeds the birds so I knew exactly which house.  Like many others he also knows Quincy.  And like many others he said he was very sorry to hear about Quincy's daddy.  I know that Dave had several basic walk routes but did not realize how many people he talked to.  One of the reasons I like living here is that even in winter people are outside and walking with or without dogs. People use front yards and talk to others.  I wanted a dog so Dave would have to go out when I was gone.  Guess it is working for me.  

Mind Control

The  past two Thursdays I have had the opportunity to do additional BCI sessions. (Questions ? see 5/7 and 6/24)  The engineers had been working with the data that had been collected from everyone the last time around and now wanted to try the changes.  Betts explained that the first session was mainly about becoming familiar with the process again.  Good thing because I did not have the levels I had before.  At the second session the letters flashed at a higher speed and I found it easier.  Additionally there was a section were fewer letters were flashed in the sequence.  After becoming familiar with the speed, I went on to the section where I was to spell a word in a sentence.  This was where I really saw an improvement at the higher speed.  Feeling cocky, when given the opportunity to try some free spell, I said yes.  The first word was great. I did the six letters and a space, then the first letter of the second word and then I lost it.  The computer has a word prediction program that is supposed to help select the correct word.  If it starts going in the wrong direction it is difficult to select the back space.  I was only able to do it once.  It was fun to have the opportunity to try.  Now I am wondering if others will find the faster speed easier.  When I said that my mind did not wander as much at the higher speed Betts asked if I had ever been diagnosed with ADHD.  Are you kidding, 60 years ago those were the kids that were sent to the office because they were disrupting the class.